I recently went on a camping trip with church bible study members. It had been a while since I'd been camping and living on the 'WILDSIDE!" We had a blast. Upon arriving, our ministry leader asked us what each of us expected to receive from God while there. I didnt really have any expectations at first...I didnt know I needed any. But I began to think. I wanted to feel the love of God. I had just ended a 2 year relationship and I wanted to feel loved again. I wanted to feel desired. I wanted to be courted that weekend, sought after. I expressed this to the group and waited...
The weekend turned out to be a blast! We played games and got to know each other a little better...still waiting. I took pics...ate and sat by the river....waiting. Finally my moment came. We were all aitting around on the last night and our ministry leader began to speak and he began to speak so highly of his daughter. She had helped organize the event and he just went on and on about the good job she had done. I saw how their relationship was and it made me think of my daddy.
I believe that as women the way we view men in our lives has a lot to do with our fathers. How our fathers treat us, speak to us, it all plays a part in our perception of men. I have a loving father. He is the ultimate man to me. Hardworking, knowledgeable about everything, funny, a realist..shoot he's just my daddy. He also has a stern side. He dont play no games. I see him as such an authoritative figure sometimes that I forget he's my daddy. I have always perceived my daddy like this and this perception has been a hinderance (or at least I thought it was).
I saw God this same way. Authoritative...a dictator...its God's way or the highway.
When I got home, I went to my dad and told him about my trip but I also told him how I was really feeling. Now I was expecting some glorious "spiritual" conversation with my dad, but remember, my dad keeps it real. I told him of my fears about life, men and even approaching him to tell him to say how I was feeling. He replied, " Alanna, my door has always been open to you." He also stated that when he tells me something that I need to follow him and do it.
I dunno about you but I can see God all in this conversation. I can see Him telling me that He has never shut me out of his life. That I must be obedient to His word and teachings. IT'S SO COOL! Not only has this conversation helped me with my dad but it has opened the door with my spiritual father too. I have 2 special men in my life...my daddy and my Lord! I am so blessed.
